-Me

My husband is constantly interrupting me. He is under the misguided impression that if I’m talking, I must be trying to communicate with him.

Sometimes that is true. But only sometimes. Not usually. Okay, most of my day, I am talking to myself.

It is not my goal to annoy him. Rather, it is truly helpful in problem-solving. 

So often I hear myself say something that’s been pinging around in my brain and think, “oh, that sounds bad/good”.  Or, “if someone said that to me, I’d be upset.” Or, even better, “Eureka! That’s what I’ll do!”

Just the other day, my husband was fixing something under the sink and said, “I wish they made a tool for this.” That was quickly followed by, “oh, wait! They do. And I have one in the garage.” 

See how helpful that can be?

Talking to oneself is a very effective problem-solving tool.

Here are some techniques to try.

Brainstorming: When faced with a problem or challenge, try speaking out loud to yourself or with others to generate ideas. This can help you to get your thoughts out of your head and into the open, making it easier to see new possibilities. 

I have covered my dining room windows with easel paper and held significantly important retreats with only me in attendance. The clarity is amazing.

Role-playing: Sometimes, speaking out loud can help you imagine different scenarios and test potential solutions. You can try role-playing different strategies, talking through potential solutions with a trusted friend or colleague, or even by yourself. 

We actually do this a lot. You know those times when you imagine telling your spouse about a new idea and you just know what they’re going to say and ruin your enthusiasm? We get so angry with them. Poor thing has no idea why they are in the doghouse because they weren’t aware they were in a fight.

If you change your approach, you have a better chance of changing the response. 

Self-reflection: When you are grappling with a personal issue or trying to make a decision, speaking out loud can help you to organize your thoughts and gain clarity on your options.

Stand before a mirror and look yourself in the eye. Be honest with yourself.

Visualization: By expressing your desires out loud and imagining them as already achieved, you can build confidence and motivation to take action towards them.

Bottom line: talking to yourself is a powerful tool for creating solutions and generating new ideas. You can gain greater clarity and insight into potential solutions and pathways forward by giving voice to your thoughts and ideas.

If you’re looking for a neutral party, these are techniques I use with my clients quite a bit. Let’s see if they will work for you.

For more insight, read this article in Psychology Today.

Mary