It’s easy to think every part of us is falling to the wayside—this hurts, that aches, something is out of alignment, etc. More realistically, we are experiencing many symptoms from one cause. The challenge is getting to the core issue.

I am volunteering with an organization that, at first glance, can look dysfunctional, but it is just growing pains that need some infrastructure.

When you can isolate the issue, it distracts you from the symptoms, the blaming, and the belief that it is too overwhelming to participate. It focuses your attention on the right area. You can see the forest from the trees.

Think about your life right now.

Do too many things feel out of control? Does life feel like it is attacking on all fronts? What are the chances that you just need to stop reacting? How can you take a deep breath and decide what you will respond to and what you won’t?

The cause is being distracted by every little symptom rather than the issue.

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I learned I am not the toddlers’ coat rack or the person to whom they should hand their popsicle wrappers. As an executive, I learned to respond to “problems” by asking the complainer how they plan to solve the issue and to ask how that issue pertains to the agreed-upon goals, e.g., should you even bother with this?

When you focus on only the job at hand, the rest learn (eventually) not to leave their woes on your doorstep. Calmness ensues with delegation or your refusal to take on what isn’t yours.

Need help sorting the symptoms from the cause? I have many techniques at my disposal that can guide you to discover for yourself where the cause lies and greatly reduce the symptoms.

Mary