What does this expression mean to you: It is what it is?

I have always interpreted it as a rather healthy response to accepting a situation, but lately, I have found people using it as an excuse.

Sometimes, “it” is the wise acceptance of a circumstance you cannot change, such as a storm that delays your flight or being stuck in traffic. No amount of screaming, fretting, or worry will change it.

Here’s what it shouldn’t mean: That you are stuck in your victim’s story.

Bad things happen to all of us at some time or another: Job loss, loss of a loved one, receiving a difficult diagnosis, or other devastating circumstances. These are things that can stop us in our tracks. In these instances, saying, “well, it is what it is so why bother” choosing to stay stuck.

I came across this very moving story on LinkedIn a few days ago. A young man shared how he moved from victim to hero in his own life. Here’s an excerpt:

“I woke up in the hospital in the middle of a political firestorm. After being shot when the police mistook me for someone else, I started to feel hate. I had a loving family pouring into me, but my spirit wasn’t receptive because I wanted to be angry.”

“My grandfather told me … ‘You have to make a choice to get up. I can’t do it for you; you have to get yourself up and how you decide to climb is your responsibility.'”

“I realized that I wanted to pull myself up off the floor more than I wanted to be on it.”

He shifted to accepting what had happened and chose to do what was necessary to move forward.

We all have a victim story. What’s yours? My real question is, how is that story holding you back?

If you’re ready to take a look at it, I can help.

Mary