I was at a psychic fair offering readings this past weekend. It was amazing how many of the people I read for needed two very similar messages:

• Draw good boundaries
• Be more selfish

When both of these are ignored, victims are created. Those are the people who can’t move forward because of someone else’s actions, a situation in the past, or because staying stuck is preferred to the hard work ahead.

When you draw boundaries, you are doing a great service to yourself and others, including your children, spouses, bosses, and friends. You speak your truth, and you demonstrate to others how to do that for themselves.

Becoming more selfish is a natural extension of drawing boundaries that some struggle with for many reasons. Often, they want to please others because it is more important than pleasing themselves.

Despite all the podcasts, books, social media, TED talks, etc., that have flooded the market in the past fifteen years or more, too many people still need to be personally tapped on the shoulder and told, “that means you, too.”

Being more selfish can be as simple as finding and holding tight to 20 uninterrupted minutes a day.

Too many times, I hear from my clients about the intense shaming they received as a child, either from the playground bully or a parent or other source. It can take an awful toll on one’s beliefs about themselves.

As an adult, you have the responsibility to draw a line and say “no more!” Refuse to join the shaming chorus. Be your own best friend and advocate. Those who seek to shame you are not telling you the truth about you. They are revealing their sense of inferiority. Let them do it elsewhere.

Setting boundaries and being more selfish can take practice to recognize and overcome. I would love to help you do that.

Mary