It is often said that two things in life bring out the best and worst in families: weddings and funerals.

Our son has just married, our youngest daughter is engaged, and my mother’s memorial service is coming up next month. It seems I have every right to feel a million different ways and be running in a million different directions, spewing irrationally.

But not once have I felt the need to do so. So far, my friends and family have shown me only support, kindness, and a spirit of kinship. We have all behaved so well and in authentic ways.

How lucky I am!

Sometimes, I wonder why that is, and it comes down to communication. As much as these are heartfelt moments, the throat chakra has helped us navigate the emotional times. Expectations expressed in advance make a world of difference.

My mother was very specific about what she did and did not want—there was nothing to argue over. My son and daughter-in-law were clear about how they saw their big day going. My daughter is excited to plan with input from others in certain areas.

Consider where you have expressed your expectations and what you might know of others’ expectations. Then, take action to fill in the gaps. Ask others what they might want in different circumstances. What would they see as supportive? Express what you would like to happen if you were in that situation. Share with as many others as might be impacted by this decision. Then you will know the best way to show up when it comes to decision time.

Thank you to everyone who has expressed their shared joy and condolences. You are the best!

Mary