I had a few responses to last week’s posting about “the time is now” to work toward your dream.

One woman reader replied, “But the question is how to move towards what we want or feel we need without being (or being perceived as being) selfish.”

It is a fair question that a woman is likelier to ask than a man.

If you are concerned about others’ perceptions, you have lost before you’ve begun. That’s their business. It is a great way to hand over control of your life.

If you believe that doing for yourself somehow takes away from others, you give a negative meaning to the word selfish. There is a positive meaning.

It is important to be selfish occasionally, yet good self-care goes beyond the gym workout, the occasional mani/pedi, or long soak in an Epsom salt bath.

Way beyond.

What are your dreams? The ones that are truly yours? The ones that don’t require the children to be grown, the spouse to approve, the mortgage to be retired.

Selfish is when you honor your innermost calling. Selfish is when you find a way to make space in your life just for you, regardless of the other responsibilities.

It really is okay.

In fact, it’s a must.

It is easier to say you can’t do something because of all your other responsibilities and allow that to be what keeps you safe and in your present situation. There is always a step you can take that serves only you and does not have to be a takeaway from someone else.

Taking steps toward the real you most certainly entail being selfish, at least some of the time. It’s also the surest way to have happiness in your life.

Permission does not come from others. It comes from you. Permit yourself to be as great as you dream.

Need help getting started? I offer a complimentary one-hour “Let’s get started building your future” session.

Mary