One of the best gifts Mom gave her children was certain knowledge of what she did and did not want as she grew older.

Mom was clear:

Never let me live with you; it’s too hard on families.

Take my car keys when I am a threat to others. I won’t like it. Do it anyway.

No ridiculous life support measures when I’m old. I’ll want to live, but I won’t want extreme measures and a prolonged sense of false hope.

I will insist on staying in my home, but you will know better than I when it is time for me to go elsewhere. I won’t like it. Do it anyway.

My burial plot, headstone, and cremation are paid for, no viewing of the body. Here is a copy of my will and finances.

Over the last four years, there has never been a moment of disagreement on what my siblings and I should do because we have known forever what was expected. It was both verbally expressed and documented in writing.

The gift of clear communication and expectations is beyond measure. What could have been a much more difficult struggle among us was one of unity and acceptance.

The benefits of this kind of communication don’t need to be reserved for end-of-life decisions. Be true to yourself and kind to your loved ones by clearly communicating your feelings, wishes, hopes, and especially your decisions. They can then decide how they wish to respond.

Keeping them guessing or preferring to avoid an uncomfortable conversation is a great way to cause disharmony.

What is it you want to communicate? What’s holding you back?

Mary