My husband, Mark, and I have had go-arounds for the past 34 years about systems, those everyday habits that save time and energy and offset forgetfulness.

As an engineer, Mark is driven by systems and organization. It is not a perfect practice on his part, but it is a stronger calling than what I experience. Scissors always go in this kitchen drawer. It does save time when I need to use them so, okay, I put the scissors in that kitchen drawer whenever I am done with them.

Mark perceives that I have a complete lack of systems when in truth, my systems look different than his.

For example, I put things in the car I need to take with me for the week – post office drop-offs, book deliveries, store returns, etc. To Mark, this looks like a messy car. To me, it ensures I won’t forget to take it with me. The argument? I ask that he stop “cleaning” my car! It messes with my system.

I tell you this because this is just one example of how two people can look at the same situation and come to different and often harsh judgments about the other.

This is where curiosity and empathy can play a big role in your day, with your team, or with your personal relationship. What are you judging based on what you see and how you would approach something without asking?

Curiosity says, “I wonder why they do things this way. I’ll have to ask.”
Empathy says, “Glad I asked. Now I understand.” 

What is your system for being curious and building empathy with others who may appear to be doing things wrong? Where are you challenged on your abilities when others may not understand what purpose your systems serve?

Lack of curiosity and empathy can lead to unnecessary conflict keeping you stuck in circular conversations or unfair judgments. If you are in a leadership position, developing empathy is especially essential in this remote or hybrid work environment.

I can help you remove barriers to understanding and build your empathy muscles. It’s the mark of an excellent leader. Let’s chat.

Mary