When you’re in the midst of a crisis, it’s nearly impossible to summons common sense.

Some crises pop up in a moment while some are a long slog deeper into a bad situation.

When I was eight months pregnant, I developed placenta previa, a condition that can kill both mother and baby in a very short time. My response was to go lay down. Not to call the doctor, not to get help. It was my husband who recognized what was happening and gently overrode my objections and got me to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, I was told to lie flat, don’t roll over, stay still for what turned into the next nine days. I was more than a little resistant. My doctor, seeing my denial for what it was – fear – gave me the straight scoop: “If you were a pioneer woman, you and your baby would be a marker by the side of the road by now. You do not get to die on my watch so lie still.”

It worked.

When you encounter someone who is in crisis, it is tempting to get frustrated with their lack of common sense, but the truth is they are in fear. Surviving the moment is their only goal. They are unable to see what needs to happen next because they are overwhelmed. It often takes someone to give them some straight talk like my doctor did. It may even require someone to step in and take over like my husband did. What could not happen in my case is for others to stand there and shake their heads at my lack of action.

When you are in crisis, what is your response? Who is on your team that can supportively override and give you some straight talk? No one can get through all things by themselves.

If there is someone in your life in crisis and making one bad decision after another, do they need you to gently step in?

This goes for the workplace as well. Where are your expectations of someone realistic given their situation? Offering help is likely more effective than judgment.

We all take a village.

If you are in crisis, come see me and we’ll work to make sure you can get through it and not repeat it.

Mary