It is rumored that when we die, we undergo a life review. Every now and then, around 2 a.m., my brain says, “Why wait?”

On those restless nights in the absolute darkest hours, I find myself remembering and judging every mistake or embarrassing moment. When the kids were little, when I misspoke at work, when my sixth-grade crush found my note to a friend.

Every bleeding moment. Makes for a very long night.

In these reviews, I feel my negative self-judgment swallow me whole. People who have experienced near-death experiences say that when you go through your review on the other side, you experience what the other person felt. That sounds worse.

I’m convinced that these two a.m. conversations serve a purpose. They help me reconsider certain approaches in life, and they give me the opportunity to forgive myself.

Two a.m. can also lead to reviewing every slight that ever befell me. Those are equally unhelpful for sleep. It is in the past, but it is worth learning to forgive others. Forgiveness is the best healer and completely selfish in its benefits.

Forgiveness is about letting go of negative energy that can be so consuming.

If you forgive yourself, the ego loses its power over you. If you forgive others, then others lose their power over you. And, if you take a close look at either situation, you just might find compassion: for yourself or another.

The most important thing is to release any thought’s power over you at any time, day or night. My best defense is YouTube meditation music.

What do you experience at 2 a.m? Do you feel overwhelmed? Understood? Forgiven?

Maybe a chat with Spirit can help you find your way back to resting easy.

Mary